Let's face it, this blog has basically become our little family journal, as I don't do very well taking the time to write things down elsewhere on a regular basis. As such I try to record the things that I want to remember, good and bad alike, for memory's sake.
On Sunday evening my mom called to inform us that my Grandpa Nash had died. He was actually feeling quite well, especially considering the health struggles he has dealt with in the past, and simply passed peacefully at home while reading a book and enjoying a typical, calm Sunday afternoon. And though it brought a sense of comfort to know that he died in a manner that he would have preferred, I still found myself brought to tears knowing that it will be sometime before we get to unite with him again.
The kids were already asleep in bed so we waited until Monday morning to explain his passing to them. Kids are always better at handling things than adults are. I am sure it has something to do with an inability to fully comprehend time. That is, just what it means that we will have to wait until we die, as well, before we can see him again. But I also think they just have a greater abundance of that simple faith that the Lord is over all and everything is as it should be and will work out in the end. I specifically want to remember Corbin's response, as his reaction and coping ability is a testimony to me of the Lord's plan.
First of all Corbin was quite fond of Grandpa Nash. From the time we first went to visit them after he learned how to walk he just sort of gravitated towards Grandpa. He would follow him around, attempting to help with whatever project or chore Grandpa was working on. Grandpa was a fair skinned, red head living in Southern Nevada and as such almost always wore a brimmed hat around when working outside. Corbin would always try to wear his hat or one like it, grinning ear to ear when he succeeded in getting a hold of one.
I am sure it could not have been too flattering but Corbin always referred to Grandpa Nash as "The Really Old Grandpa" rather than as Great Grandpa. Luckily, Grandpa was always light hearted about it and teased him back rather than taking any offense.
We would usually visit Grandpa at their summer house on Cedar Mountain and later in Hatch. There was lots of wildlife to feed and watch, a fun park for the kids to play in, lots of outdoor space to explore, fun games to play and four-wheelers to ride. But when I asked Corbin if he remembered Grandpa Nash, he immediately shouted out, "Yes! Remember he played swords with me and chased me!" On our last trip to Hatch it was nearly Halloween, Corbin was in his Musketeer phase, and somehow got my 75-year-old Grandpa to chase him all around, using rulers to sword fight. I love that that is Corbin's favorite memory of Grandpa, even over all the "bigger" things we did with them. It reminds you that life is all about those little moments.
When I told him that Grandpa had died last night, his first question was, "How?" Despite my attempts to avoid exposing him to violence I think that his only knowledge of death was when superheros killed bad guys or of people killing each other in the scriptures, so he was a little concerned. After I explained death as associated with old age he seemed a lot more accepting of it. I asked him how he felt and he quite simply stated that he felt sad because he was going to miss Grandpa.
I am going to miss Grandpa too. I am sad for the all experiences he won't be here for, but I am so grateful for all the time I did have with him. Not only did I get to have him around throughout my entire childhood, but he was close throughout my college years, he got to know my husband, he was there the day I received my endowments and he held my children in his arms. I am particularly happy that he got to see his grand kids in this life and that I will forever have fond memories of him playing with my children.
